she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
