i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
