508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
