I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
