You're my little dorito
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
