i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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