you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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