'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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