She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
