yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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