Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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