If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
