Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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