I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
