i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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