Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
