You're my little dorito
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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