just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
pray to the hookup gods
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize