Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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