i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Panties = found
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