Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
