Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
