it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
