i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
