Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I could make wine with my vomit
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
