I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
40s are totally the cure
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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