I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
