Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
