your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
