I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
