Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
