You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
