Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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