Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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