youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
