Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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