I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
