the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
