I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
