You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize