Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
