I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize