she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
