WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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