i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
