Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
