Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
3pm strippers are depressing
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
