I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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