I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
