this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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